salto do asfaltu

manifesto // online and real world

these are fragments of what i realised and fully formed during a conversation with Vell. it's something i always remind to myself and something i (try to) live by. not only it puts me in a good mood, but i have a good feeling about every freaking day i lived, because even if it wasn't the best day ever, i know i treated every person (myself included), animal, thing and plant and everything else just how they deserved. and that always soothes my soul, excited about the next day and regretting nothing.

1. don’t live blindly through gadgets, don’t put more energy into your online life rather than your real life. use gadgets wisely. don’t let yourself to be consumed by them.

2. share wisely. decide what you want to share with the world and what is better to keep to yourself. don’t try to create a “better” version of yourself online. you are good enough. work on yourself in real life.

3. learn how to spend time offline and live the reality. use social media as a tool to share your work, not as a place for procrastination.

4. learn to be present in the real world. it can be scary, but don’t use online world to escape it - this is just life, baby. live it.

5. minimise your online world, make it raw.

6. make life (in general) as raw and pure as possible.

7. make it meaningful. put effort in everything you do. there is no time to slack off.

8. be true to yourself. appreciate yourself when you do something well, but recognise your mistakes as well.

9. be grateful. appreciate even the smallest of things.

10. don’t be bitchy to people. if they piss you off they are not worth your energy. if you just have a bad day, it doesn't mean you can destroy theirs.

11. rest, but don’t procrastinate.

12. be present.

13. do, try, experience. you may fail, but at least you tried. now you know you suck at it and carry on, or you know how to do better next time.

not playing dead

August 2015

I feel like I was afraid to switch my sharing mode to ON from time to time, in the last few months. I mean, I didn't want to write (here and on my tumblr, as you could notice) and share anything with the world. There isn't much time either. My world is spinning very fast for a year now. I am living VERY in the moment and in the reality. And I LIKE IT INFINITELY!

I used to think about everything and analyse everything around me. I still do, but this time, it seems like I rather shut up than say it out loud. I don't know why. I don't even write letters as often as I used to. Just now I write a letter to Tadeáš, since we weren't in touch for several months due to his travels.
I wonder if the absence of me on the internet and elsewhere is because I have that one somebody around me most of the time, to whom I can say and show everything immediately?
I noticed he has features of Neal Cassady, my childhood hero. He is just as crazy and just as energetic as I've always dreamt of Neal to be. I feel like he can do anything, get through anything. We moved in together at the beginning of July. I am so lucky to have him in my life. Everything is spinning in just the right speed.

I have a few plans in the future, too, but I am too scared to share them to anyone, in case they don't work out. At least it's more exciting this way. And this way I am 100% certain I am achieving them for me, not just to prove someone wrong. I hope it will all come true. They are not big dreams, one could say, but they mean the world to me.

My brother returned home a few days ago from Iceland. He lived there almost a year.

May 2016

Not many things mentioned above changed, though it has been almost a year. I still live with the Neal Cassady doppelgänger, but we share a different flat with different roommates and with a puppy we adopted. I dropped out from uni after 2 months of attending, but I signed up for illustration & comics courses. And now here I am again, after such a long time of somewhat silence. I realised I have a lot I want to share with you now.

výtažky z meditace

„Lidé, kteří mají v hlavě zmatek, zmatek jen zvětšují."

„Pokud je mysl pro nás abstraktním pojmem a ne skutečností jako věc, bude naše pozornost těkat z bodu na bod a žádný neprozkoumá, protože na žádném se na delší dobu nezastaví, aby o něm zjistila všechno. a pokud o něčem nevíme opravdu všechno, musíme se tím zabívat, stále nás to poutá, drží a omezuje."

„...jestliže chceme poznat principy myšlení, musíme být schopni sledovat myšlení stejně objektivně, jako události kolem nás. (...) Abychom mohli objektivně pozorovat myšlení, musíme mít nad ním nadhled. Nesmíme být uvnitř myšlení, musíme být vně."

„Beze slov, v tichu mysli, sleduje chod představ, ale vědomě žádnou nerozvíjí. Proto se představy zpomalí a vytřídí. Krásné, ale pominutelné, postupně odpadnou, přestanou vznikaz a místo nich se objeví řešení problémů."

„Vím-li, že něco dokážu, nezatěžuji se tím. Zatěžuji se tím, co nevím. Vím, že dokážu jít, a proto jdu bez problémů, ale nevím, zda nepřijdu pozdě do práce, a proto mám problém. Není ale můj problém zbytečný? Co kdybych se nestaral o to, zda přijdu pozdě do práce, ale raději zrychlil krok? Nebylo by to efektivnější?
A další myšlenka: 'Stihnu uzávěrku?' S tou první jsem mohl alespoň něco udělat, hned jsem přidal do kroku, ale s tou druhou momentálně neudělám nic. Je zcela zbytečná. Zbytečně jsem si pomyslel a zbytečně mám problémy. Pro to, abych stihl uzávěrku, nemohu teď udělat nic. Nebo přece jen? Ale co?
Netrápit se. Šetřit si síly. Jednat rozumně, ne hloupě. (...) Neplýtvali jsme energií, proto jsme si ji zachovali. A proto jsme jí měli dost, když jsme ji potřebovali."

„Děláme co umíme a tehdy, když máme možnost jednat."

„...meditace v pohybu prohloubí naše vnímání a meditace v řeči nám umožní hovořit přesně a pohotově."

„Nemáme proč se vracet k řeči, která je už za námi. Nic jsme nezkazili, nic jsme nezmeškali. Naše jistota se proto udržuje na vysoké úrovni. (...) Kdokoliv přichází, naše srdce zůstává klidné. Nebojí se. Nemusí se připravovat. Nevzniká myšlenka: 'Co řeknu? Jak začnu? Zvládnu to? Vyjádřím se správně? Pochopí mne? Neudělám si ostudu?'"

z náhodně nalezené knížky během antikvariátového hýření - Vše o meditaci od Mariana Repky

'the best of' 365 wannabe

i've finished my 3rd project 365. the end came out of the blue, to be honest. since i moved to Prague, i lost any proper internet connection. mostly i just updated my project while i had time at work, where there is no service whatsoever except for O2 (so no service for me, anyway), but there is wifi alright.

the year was nothing i expected it to be, as per usual. at the beginning it was somehow like this: i was a girl in recovery, looking for a place in this world (which i still do) having big dreams (which i still do). so no change in that aspect of life.
but just 2 months later i met this person that came to me out of nowhere in this unmemorable yet ordinary night. we had a lot in common yet we were so different. we still do, we still are. and we are still getting to know each other, but now in our own flat, in our own relationship. we, strange acquaintances, started dating 2 weeks later after we met. it was this new, totally exciting relationship and i never expected it to go so far. not that i didn't believe in it, i was just very sceptic about happy love stories and i thought i will fuck it up soon. well, i didn't. it felt good and it still does.
i found out he has a snake, he likes my favourite whiskey and his home is next door, even-though at that time he lived and worked in Prague. yes, we were actually neighbours. now we are flatmates. weird. this 'project 365 revision' appears to be my love life update, but to be honest, it is the biggest part of this past year. so i don't intend to shut up about it. i want to remember all of it.

now, let's dig in the archive of my last 365 days.

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this is me now // part 2 // night

as long as everything's in colour harmony!

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this is my life now // part 1 // day(ish)

we paid a second rent now. that means we live in Prague for a month. it went so fast! and here is a little insight i put together.

my lunch and my dinner. we just made it so damn good. tzatziki and guacamole y'all! i like making meals to my love and than carrying it w/ me as i go visit him to work.

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PQ15 / kafkův dům

každá místnost patří studentům z jiné země

4 patra světů, kam bych se nejradši hned přestěhovala

už nevím co to bylo za zemi, ale její studenti měli za úkol vymyslet si postavu s jakoukoliv sběratelskou vášní, vytvořit celý charakter (popis na A4 byl často doplněný životním příběhem, kresbama nebo rekvizitama - třeba podprsenkama) a navrhnout prostor, ve kterým daný sběratel žije. bylo to úžasný. doteď jsem neměla ani potuchy o tom, že si lidi ve škole hrajou.

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